Progress City™: From Cosmic Insignificance to Algorithmic Assurance—Where the Universe Revolves Around You

Upbeat music, showcasing glossy, animated visuals of Progress City™. We see sleek, futuristic skyscrapers, orderly green parks, and serene citizens gliding through the streets, all wearing gentle, slightly vacant smiles as they interact with holographic devices.

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Voiceover
"Feeling lost in the grand design of the universe? Wondering where you—a mere mortal—fit among the stars, or if your existence has meaning beyond that 9-to-5 grind? Don’t worry! Progress City™ understands the struggle, the sense of being... well, just another blip on the radar of cosmic indifference."

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Cut to a quick visual timeline with humorous animations: a Renaissance scientist peers through a telescope, a caveman morphs into a human, and a psychologist with thick glasses jots notes with a frown.

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Voiceover
"Centuries ago, Copernicus knocked us from the center of the universe. Darwin reminded us we’re just cousins with chimps. And Freud? Well, he revealed the irrational beasts hiding within. Humanity’s collective ego took a hit, dignity got bruised, and the idea of being ‘special’ became… well, let’s say it got ‘reassessed’."

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The screen cuts to smiling citizens in Progress City™, radiating confidence and a manufactured sense of “purpose” as they stroll past signs that read, “You Belong Here” and “You’re Special to Us™.”

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Voiceover
"But that’s where Progress City™ steps in! We’re here to solve all those nagging existential dilemmas for you. No need to question the vastness of the cosmos or ponder your place in nature’s pecking order. With Progress City™, you’re the most important asset... to our network."

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Scene shifts to the Virtual Therapist™ booth, a sleek, glowing capsule labeled “Existential Crises? Apply Here,” with a line of hopeful citizens waiting outside.

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Voiceover
"From our groundbreaking Personal Relevance Hubs™ to our patented Ego Boosting Pods™, Progress City™ offers the latest in self-assurance technology. Don’t know where you fit in? Our AI can auto-generate your purpose statement in under 15 seconds!"

[A young adult smiles nervously as they place their hand on a scanner labeled “Identity Calibration Center™.”

 

The scanner reads out: “Special. Important. Central.” Their face lights up in satisfaction as soft orchestral music swells in the background.

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Voiceover
"Yes, gone are the days of cosmic insignificance. With Progress City™, you’ll feel like the universe is truly revolving around you once again—just as you deserve."

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Showing --“Progress City™ – "Because if the universe won’t make you feel important… we will."

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Voiceover (whispering)
"Progress City™ – Bringing meaning to the meaningless… since… now."

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