Chris Conidis Artist, Author, Screenwriter
Chris Conidis is a versatile writer, filmmaker, and improv performer with a career spanning over two decades. His work includes satire, social commentary, and dark humor, often exploring themes like societal critique, futurism, and absurdity.
Writer and former artist, Chris Conidis is back at it, in the latest work-in-progress, “Progress City,” a sharp satire that takes a deep, comical dive into society’s love affair with “progress.” This new project, a sprawling parody of futurism and modern life, unpacks humanity’s journey from the cave to today’s social dilemmas. With his trademark humor, Conidis pokes fun at how every era has imagined the future—often with more confidence than accuracy—and how these visions have both shaped and clashed with reality.
Introducing Progress City – A Satirical Journey Through Our Obsession with "Advancement"
This sprawling parody of futurism and modern life peels back the layers of our societal quirks, from our earliest beginnings to the complex dilemmas of today.
*Progress City* invites us to reflect on what it really means to move forward—and at what cost.
Check out the official press release for more insights into the inspiration behind this project: [Read here)
Let me know what you think about this satirical dive into the future and our present!
https://www.crunchbase.com/person/chris-conidis-adaa
#ProgressCity #Satire #Futurism #SocialCommentary #ChrisConidis
Chris Conidis: The Time-Traveling Master of Mediocrity
Chris Conidis sprinkles in some historical trivia, and tears apart pop culture like a kid with a piñata. Ever wonder what it takes to be an expert in absolutely nothing? Look no further. Known for his ability to leave no trace in the annals of history, He is a distinguished master of “meh.” While some aim for fame, he is content on being the unsung hero of mediocre pursuits, championing the art of sarcastic observation and the pursuit of temperate achievements.He’s not here to change the world…He is just here to rearrange the deck chairs while the ship goes down...
Born in the depths of prehistoric humanity—probably while someone was inventing the wheel—Conidis started his career as a caveman, slowly chiseling away at rocks and cracking his first sarcastic comment. Back then, there were no influencers, just basic survival and the occasional woolly mammoth scare. Conidis was ahead of his time, the original social media pioneer—drawing stick figures on cave walls to the disinterest of any Neanderthal within a 10-mile radius. No followers, no problem.
As time ticked on and human history fumbled its way forward, Conidis stayed in the mix, dodging plagues, bad haircuts, and even worse fashion trends (seriously, tunics?) with the same finesse he now uses to avoid online trolls. While everyone else was busy building empires, he was busy telling Socrates, “Hey, man, why not take a break and just chill? You’re overthinking this whole philosophy thing.” Of course, his toga party ideas didn't exactly take off, and his critique of democracy was something like: “Yeah, democracy... or should I say, Demo-Crazy?”
Conidis gave the Egyptians a hand in designing the pyramids, suggesting, “Have you thought about making them triangle-shaped? I mean, it’s just an idea.” Fast forward to the Dark Ages—Conidis was there too, trying to make fire jokes, but the crowd just wasn’t ready. #TooSoon.
Then came the Renaissance—oh, what a time to be alive! Conidis was rubbing elbows with Da Vinci, telling him, “Ever thought about, like, flying or something?” and witnessing revolutions unfold, many of which he considered “way too dramatic.” He dodged cannonballs in the French Revolution like it was no big deal and spent a good amount of time roasting Napoleon’s height—"You're really that short in person?" Classic Conidis.
And then, just when you thought the madness couldn’t get any worse... enter the modern era. Selfies, hashtags, and TikTok dances. Conidis, still sporting a confused look from the previous century, couldn’t believe it. “Wait, so we went from inventing fire to lip-syncing to pop songs on a tiny screen? How did I miss that memo?” he wondered aloud.
Today, he spends his days in utter bewilderment, watching humanity become obsessed with filters, likes, and viral nonsense. "Cave paintings at least had some culture," he quips. A seasoned time traveler, Conidis is still trying to figure out how the human race went from inventing the wheel to... unboxing videos. Through it all, Conidis remains a witness to the spectacle—armed with sarcasm sharper than a medieval sword and a humor that has survived and roasted the ages.
https://www.crunchbase.com/person/chris-conidis-adaa
https://www.chrisconidisflorida.com/
The Incredible Case of Harry Hollow: The Man Without Guts by Chris Conidis
Harry Hollow woke up in his little bungalow on Willow Street, his wife’s warm body curled around his side like a question mark, and he thought, Something’s wrong. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It was like the feeling you get when an old, beloved book is missing from the shelf, but you can’t recall which one.
Outside, the sky was a soft, dappled watercolor of early morning light, the kind of day that smelled of fresh-cut grass and warm pavement. For a moment, Harry almost forgot his strange intuition. He slipped into his slippers, felt the cool floorboards underfoot, and wandered into the bathroom.
That’s when he saw it: he was empty.
Not metaphorically empty, the way a man might feel after a long day of soul-crushing work. No, this was a literal, physical emptiness. Harry pulled up his pajama shirt and stared into the hollow space where his chest should have been. There was nothing. No ribs, no lungs, no heart. Just a dark, cavernous gap that yawned back at him like the entrance to a forgotten cave.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” he muttered, poking a finger into the void. It slid in without resistance, as if his body were nothing but a rubbery shell. He felt…nothing. No pain, no pressure, not even a tickle. He was a human glove with no hand inside.
Downstairs, the smell of fresh coffee filled the kitchen. Betty, his wife, was standing at the counter, her yellow bathrobe bright against the morning light.
“You look pale, Harry,” she said, sliding a cup of coffee his way. “Did you get enough sleep?”
“I feel… strange,” he said. “Light. Like I’m missing something.”
Betty laughed, that warm, familiar laugh of hers that reminded him of a summer picnic long ago. “We’re all missing something, Harry,” she said. “That’s just part of life.”
Harry lifted his shirt, revealing the emptiness to her.
Betty blinked at the sight and then, strangely, she didn’t look surprised. If anything, she seemed almost relieved, like she’d been waiting for this moment for years. “Oh, Harry,” she sighed. “You finally noticed.”
At the doctor’s office, the X-ray machine hummed and clicked, its sounds filling the room like the mutterings of an old man. Dr. Barren, whose mustache looked like it had been glued on in a hurry, held up the film to the light.
“Well, this is a first,” he said, squinting at the X-ray. “There’s nothing there, Harry. No organs at all.”
Harry nodded. “That’s what I figured.”
Dr. Barren scratched his head. “But you’re standing here, talking to me. How is that even possible?”
“I don’t know,” Harry admitted. “I just feel… hollow.”
Dr. Barren filed the X-ray under “Unsolved Mysteries,” patted Harry on the back, and said with a chuckle, “You’re not the first, you know. Most folks don’t realize they’re hollow until much later in life. Consider yourself lucky, I suppose.”
Harry wandered to the park, feeling a lightness with each step, as though the wind might pick him up and carry him off. He sat down next to Old Tom, the town’s resident philosopher, who was tossing breadcrumbs to the pigeons.
“What’s got you looking so glum?” Tom asked, squinting up at the sky.
“I found out I’m empty,” Harry said. “No heart, no lungs, nothing. Just a hollow shell.”
Tom chuckled, a dry, knowing laugh. “Join the club, Harry,” he said, tossing a crumb to a particularly fat pigeon. “We’re all hollow in one way or another. Some folks just wear their emptiness better than others.”
“But I don’t feel sick,” Harry said. “Shouldn’t I be dead?”
“Who says you need organs to live?” Tom replied, winking. “Maybe you’re lighter without all that baggage. Ever think of it that way?”
Harry thought about that as he watched the pigeons flutter away, their wings beating the air like the turning of unseen pages.
In the weeks that followed, Harry grew to enjoy his condition. He didn’t need to eat, didn’t feel out of breath on the stairs. He could float through his days without the weight of a churning stomach or a pounding heart. He became a man free of burdens, like a kite cut from its string.
One day, he found himself at the pier, looking out at the waves rolling in. He felt the pull of the sea, like it was calling to the emptiness inside him. He stepped forward, the water lapping at his shoes, then his knees, then his waist. He walked deeper until the sea was cradling him like a child.
Harry floated there, feeling lighter than air, lighter than the water itself. He could feel the breeze whistling through the hollow space in his chest, playing a sweet, haunting tune that only he could hear. And as he drifted further out, a smile spread across his lips.
For the first time in his life, Harry felt full—not of organs, not of the messy stuff of life, but of the vast, soothing nothingness that holds up the stars and cradles the tides.
The years passed, and Harry Hollow became something of a local legend. People would speak of him in hushed tones, as if he were a myth or a ghost, something that couldn’t possibly exist in the rational daylight world. One autumn evening, Betty returned to the pier, clutching Harry’s favorite hat in her hands. The sun was setting, painting the sky in strokes of orange and purple.
She looked out at the sea, her face serene but tinged with a wistful sadness. The sound of Harry’s haunting whistle floated on the breeze. For a moment, she could almost feel his arms around her.
Out of the mist, a shadowy figure began to form, rippling on the surface like a mirage. It was Harry, standing there as if he’d never left. He looked at her with eyes that were both familiar and otherworldly, the emptiness inside him now glowing with a soft, silvery light.
“Betty,” he said, his voice the whisper of the tide. “I’m not gone.”
Betty nodded, wiping a tear from her cheek.
“I’ve never felt more complete.” He said.
With that, the mist began to swirl around him, pulling him back into the sea. The water rippled as he faded, and the last thing she saw was the light in his chest, a tiny star sinking into the depths.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, the wind picked up again, playing that sweet, hollow tune. It wasn’t a sad sound, not anymore. It was a song of contentment, of a man who had finally found his place in the great, unknowable rhythm of the world.
And every so often, when the fog rolls in thick and the pier is deserted, you might hear it—the distant, lilting whistle of Harry Hollow, the man who discovered that the emptiest places are sometimes the fullest of all. It’s the sound of the space between breaths, the silence before a wave breaks, the music of everything we cannot see but know is there.
A song of peace. A song of home.