Chris Conidis Artist, Author, Screenwriter
Chris Conidis is a versatile writer, filmmaker, and improv performer with a career spanning over two decades. His work includes satire, social commentary, and dark humor, often exploring themes like societal critique, futurism, and absurdity.
Writer and former artist, Chris Conidis is back at it, in the latest work-in-progress, “Progress City,” a sharp satire that takes a deep, comical dive into society’s love affair with “progress.” This new project, a sprawling parody of futurism and modern life, unpacks humanity’s journey from the cave to today’s social dilemmas. With his trademark humor, Conidis pokes fun at how every era has imagined the future—often with more confidence than accuracy—and how these visions have both shaped and clashed with reality.
Introducing Progress City – A Satirical Journey Through Our Obsession with "Advancement"
This sprawling parody of futurism and modern life peels back the layers of our societal quirks, from our earliest beginnings to the complex dilemmas of today.
*Progress City* invites us to reflect on what it really means to move forward—and at what cost.
Check out the official press release for more insights into the inspiration behind this project: [Read here)
Let me know what you think about this satirical dive into the future and our present!
https://www.crunchbase.com/person/chris-conidis-adaa
#ProgressCity #Satire #Futurism #SocialCommentary #ChrisConidis
Chris Conidis: The Time-Traveling Master of Mediocrity
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Chris Conidis sprinkles in some historical trivia, and tears apart pop culture like a kid with a piñata. Ever wonder what it takes to be an expert in absolutely nothing? Look no further. Known for his ability to leave no trace in the annals of history, He is a distinguished master of “meh.” While some aim for fame, he is content on being the unsung hero of mediocre pursuits, championing the art of sarcastic observation and the pursuit of temperate achievements.He’s not here to change the world…He is just here to rearrange the deck chairs while the ship goes down...
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Born in the depths of prehistoric humanity—probably while someone was inventing the wheel—Conidis started his career as a caveman, slowly chiseling away at rocks and cracking his first sarcastic comment. Back then, there were no influencers, just basic survival and the occasional woolly mammoth scare. Conidis was ahead of his time, the original social media pioneer—drawing stick figures on cave walls to the disinterest of any Neanderthal within a 10-mile radius. No followers, no problem.
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As time ticked on and human history fumbled its way forward, Conidis stayed in the mix, dodging plagues, bad haircuts, and even worse fashion trends (seriously, tunics?) with the same finesse he now uses to avoid online trolls. While everyone else was busy building empires, he was busy telling Socrates, “Hey, man, why not take a break and just chill? You’re overthinking this whole philosophy thing.” Of course, his toga party ideas didn't exactly take off, and his critique of democracy was something like: “Yeah, democracy... or should I say, Demo-Crazy?”
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Conidis gave the Egyptians a hand in designing the pyramids, suggesting, “Have you thought about making them triangle-shaped? I mean, it’s just an idea.” Fast forward to the Dark Ages—Conidis was there too, trying to make fire jokes, but the crowd just wasn’t ready. #TooSoon.
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Then came the Renaissance—oh, what a time to be alive! Conidis was rubbing elbows with Da Vinci, telling him, “Ever thought about, like, flying or something?” and witnessing revolutions unfold, many of which he considered “way too dramatic.” He dodged cannonballs in the French Revolution like it was no big deal and spent a good amount of time roasting Napoleon’s height—"You're really that short in person?" Classic Conidis.
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And then, just when you thought the madness couldn’t get any worse... enter the modern era. Selfies, hashtags, and TikTok dances. Conidis, still sporting a confused look from the previous century, couldn’t believe it. “Wait, so we went from inventing fire to lip-syncing to pop songs on a tiny screen? How did I miss that memo?” he wondered aloud.
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Today, he spends his days in utter bewilderment, watching humanity become obsessed with filters, likes, and viral nonsense. "Cave paintings at least had some culture," he quips. A seasoned time traveler, Conidis is still trying to figure out how the human race went from inventing the wheel to... unboxing videos. Through it all, Conidis remains a witness to the spectacle—armed with sarcasm sharper than a medieval sword and a humor that has survived and roasted the ages.
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https://www.crunchbase.com/person/chris-conidis-adaa
https://www.chrisconidisflorida.com/
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Join the North Pole Team: Where Your Holiday Spirit Meets Corporate Efficiency!
Join the North Pole Team: Where Your Holiday Spirit Meets Corporate Efficiency!
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Are you tired of the same old nine-to-five grind? Do you dream of being part of something magical—but also meticulously optimized for productivity? Well, pack your snow boots and grab your resume because Santa’s Workshop 2.0 is hiring!
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Why Join Us?
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At the North Pole, we’re redefining tradition with cutting-edge innovation (and a sprinkle of holiday cheer… maybe). Our team blends the timeless joy of Christmas with the soulless efficiency of modern technology. Think of us as a startup, but with more tinsel and fewer stock options.
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Current Openings
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AI Programmer-Elf
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Responsibilities: Debug the Strategic Automated Naughty-or-Nice Algorithm (S.A.N.T.A.), especially after it classifies all children named “Kyle” as high risk.
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Qualifications: Must speak fluent JavaScript and Elvish. Must be okay with working holidays (including Boxing Day).
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Drone Reindeer Specialist
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Responsibilities: Maintain our cutting-edge fleet of delivery drones. Occasionally strap antlers on them to appease nostalgic management.
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Qualifications: Experience with remote control devices and a willingness to say “On Dasher!” without rolling your eyes.
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Frost Control Technician
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Responsibilities: Manage the creepy, sentient frost that keeps trying to devour the toy production line.
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Qualifications: Strong nerves. Preferably an exorcist license.
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Holographic Toy Designer
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Responsibilities: Create virtual toys that no child will actually enjoy, because progress.
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Qualifications: Must be able to render joy in 4K resolution.
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Perks of Working with Us
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State-of-the-Art Facilities: Gone are the days of wooden hammers and coal furnaces. Our sleek, automated workshop is so sterile, you could perform surgery on a candy cane.
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Flexible Hours: Technically, you’ll be working 24/7 until Christmas Eve, but think of the excitement!
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Health and Wellness Benefits: Our cocoa is gluten-free, and the marshmallows are AI-printed for maximum fluffiness.
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Employee Discounts: Get 10% off your child’s flamethrower (approved for naughty list kids only).
Testimonials
"When I joined, I thought I’d be painting wooden trains. Now I code drone routes. Progress is terrifying, but the health plan is solid!"
– Tinker, Former Craft-Elf
"I miss the old days, but hey, the new drones don’t need hay. Win-win?"
– Blitzen, Reindeer Fleet Specialist
"I may have accidentally created an AI uprising, but management forgave me! That’s the holiday spirit!"
– Jingle, Resident Hacker Elf
How to Apply
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Visit us at www.NorthPoleCareers.snow (yes, it’s a real domain).
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Submit a 1000-word essay explaining why you’d love to work 80-hour weeks for candy cane currency.
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Or just show up at the North Pole gates with cocoa and good intentions.
Warning
Applicants must sign a waiver acknowledging the potential for:
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Mild frostbite.
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Existential crises after hearing the phrase “optimize the magic” one too many times.
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The faint, yet persistent sound of holiday jingles haunting your dreams.
The North Pole: Where Dreams Come True, and Then Get Automated. Apply Today!