
Chris Conidis Artist, Author, Screenwriter
Chris Conidis is a versatile writer, filmmaker, and improv performer with a career spanning over two decades. His work includes satire, social commentary, and dark humor, often exploring themes like societal critique, futurism, and absurdity.

Writer and former artist, Chris Conidis is back at it, in the latest work-in-progress, “Progress City,” a sharp satire that takes a deep, comical dive into society’s love affair with “progress.” This new project, a sprawling parody of futurism and modern life, unpacks humanity’s journey from the cave to today’s social dilemmas. With his trademark humor, Conidis pokes fun at how every era has imagined the future—often with more confidence than accuracy—and how these visions have both shaped and clashed with reality.
Introducing Progress City – A Satirical Journey Through Our Obsession with "Advancement"
This sprawling parody of futurism and modern life peels back the layers of our societal quirks, from our earliest beginnings to the complex dilemmas of today.
*Progress City* invites us to reflect on what it really means to move forward—and at what cost.
Check out the official press release for more insights into the inspiration behind this project: [Read here)
Let me know what you think about this satirical dive into the future and our present!
https://www.crunchbase.com/person/chris-conidis-adaa
#ProgressCity #Satire #Futurism #SocialCommentary #ChrisConidis
Chris Conidis: The Time-Traveling Master of Mediocrity
​
Chris Conidis sprinkles in some historical trivia, and tears apart pop culture like a kid with a piñata. Ever wonder what it takes to be an expert in absolutely nothing? Look no further. Known for his ability to leave no trace in the annals of history, He is a distinguished master of “meh.” While some aim for fame, he is content on being the unsung hero of mediocre pursuits, championing the art of sarcastic observation and the pursuit of temperate achievements.He’s not here to change the world…He is just here to rearrange the deck chairs while the ship goes down...
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
Born in the depths of prehistoric humanity—probably while someone was inventing the wheel—Conidis started his career as a caveman, slowly chiseling away at rocks and cracking his first sarcastic comment. Back then, there were no influencers, just basic survival and the occasional woolly mammoth scare. Conidis was ahead of his time, the original social media pioneer—drawing stick figures on cave walls to the disinterest of any Neanderthal within a 10-mile radius. No followers, no problem.
​
As time ticked on and human history fumbled its way forward, Conidis stayed in the mix, dodging plagues, bad haircuts, and even worse fashion trends (seriously, tunics?) with the same finesse he now uses to avoid online trolls. While everyone else was busy building empires, he was busy telling Socrates, “Hey, man, why not take a break and just chill? You’re overthinking this whole philosophy thing.” Of course, his toga party ideas didn't exactly take off, and his critique of democracy was something like: “Yeah, democracy... or should I say, Demo-Crazy?”
​
Conidis gave the Egyptians a hand in designing the pyramids, suggesting, “Have you thought about making them triangle-shaped? I mean, it’s just an idea.” Fast forward to the Dark Ages—Conidis was there too, trying to make fire jokes, but the crowd just wasn’t ready. #TooSoon.
​
Then came the Renaissance—oh, what a time to be alive! Conidis was rubbing elbows with Da Vinci, telling him, “Ever thought about, like, flying or something?” and witnessing revolutions unfold, many of which he considered “way too dramatic.” He dodged cannonballs in the French Revolution like it was no big deal and spent a good amount of time roasting Napoleon’s height—"You're really that short in person?" Classic Conidis.
​
And then, just when you thought the madness couldn’t get any worse... enter the modern era. Selfies, hashtags, and TikTok dances. Conidis, still sporting a confused look from the previous century, couldn’t believe it. “Wait, so we went from inventing fire to lip-syncing to pop songs on a tiny screen? How did I miss that memo?” he wondered aloud.
​
Today, he spends his days in utter bewilderment, watching humanity become obsessed with filters, likes, and viral nonsense. "Cave paintings at least had some culture," he quips. A seasoned time traveler, Conidis is still trying to figure out how the human race went from inventing the wheel to... unboxing videos. Through it all, Conidis remains a witness to the spectacle—armed with sarcasm sharper than a medieval sword and a humor that has survived and roasted the ages.
​
​​
https://www.crunchbase.com/person/chris-conidis-adaa
https://www.chrisconidisflorida.com/
​
​
​

Death: The Ultimate Two-for-One Deal
Chris Conidis
In the grand bazaar of existence, amidst the relentless haggling of life’s endless marketplace, Death had always been something of an enigma. But as the years went by, it became increasingly apparent that Death—that dark, shadowy figure we all love to fear and pretend to understand—was, in fact, just another one of life’s great paradoxes. A cosmic joke, if you will. It turns out that Death, much like a particularly needy reality TV star, demanded constant attention and yet, in its true essence, was just as obsessed with life as life was with it.
Yes, folks, welcome to Death: The Ultimate Two-for-One Deal.
​
It began, as most misunderstandings do, with the simple fact that for all our religious teachings, philosophy books, and horror movies, no one really knew what the hell Death was. Some called it “final,” others referred to it as “the great equalizer.” But let’s be honest—nobody ever really understood it. It was like trying to explain the concept of Wi-Fi to a hamster.
​
But let’s backtrack to the beginning, when people started noticing something odd: Life and Death, despite being polar opposites, were frequently spotted hanging out at the same party. For a while, Life was the star of the show, of course. It had all the pizzazz—the glittering lights, the beautiful people, the excitement, the promise of new experiences. Death, on the other hand, was the grumpy guest no one wanted to sit next to, lurking in the corner, wearing all black, throwing unsolicited existential thoughts into the mix.
​
But here’s where the plot thickens: over the course of eons, Life began to notice something incredibly distressing—without Death, Life was… well, a bit of a mess. It was like a buffet with no end date. All-you-can-eat without the “closing time” reminder that you might want to stop eating before the food starts to look a little… unappetizing. Life, it turned out, needed Death. It was as if Life had bought an all-inclusive vacation package, but the “Death clause” was hidden in the fine print.
​
But why did Life need Death? Well, as any casual observer can tell you, Life, in its undying quest for more—more experiences, more stuff, more moments—tends to get, well, a bit carried away. Life can be quite a drama queen in that sense, pushing the limits of time and space like a toddler throwing a tantrum in the toy store. And in the absence of Death, Life would’ve kept throwing tantrums forever. Can you imagine an infinite number of new movies, TV shows, video games, and online influencers? The horror.
​
Thus, Death—ever the misunderstood underdog—stepped in as the much-needed intervention. Death was the cosmic “off” switch. The firm but loving parent who knows when it’s time to put away the iPad. With Death around, Life got to be life without becoming an incessant, unmanageable noise machine.
​
Now, you may ask, “How could Death also be Life? Isn’t that a contradiction?” Well, dear reader, here’s where things get even more confusing—Life and Death were in a constant, symbiotic relationship. They were like peanut butter and jelly, except instead of bread, you had a massive universe filled with stars, planets, and the occasional space-time anomaly.
​
Consider this: Death’s sole job, according to the universal contract, was to make sure Life didn’t go on forever—because let’s face it, an eternal life would be like the longest, most tedious email chain. And you know no one would ever reply to those.
​
But while Death was clearing the cosmic inbox, Life would stir and dance, its very essence created in response to the inevitable tick-tock of Death’s clock. Without Death, Life would be nothing but an empty room, echoing with the sound of unfulfilled potential and unfinished TikToks. Think of it as a reality show where the finale is postponed forever—no one wants to keep watching that.
​
And just when you think Death is being too harsh, it reminds you that the beauty of Life is often framed by its fleeting nature. How do we appreciate a sunset without the knowledge that it will eventually disappear beneath the horizon? How can we relish in the thrill of a first kiss without the shadow of its potential end hanging over us?
This, of course, led to an existential conundrum of the highest order: If Death was essential to Life, could Life exist without Death? In Progress City, where every machine ran on efficiency and every concept had a TED talk, the answer was clear—Life needed to be aware of Death to function properly. Without that awareness, Life would have no direction. It would simply go on, endlessly, like a broken record—repeating itself in the most mundane, soul-crushing way imaginable. And that, friends, is not the kind of Life you want to sign up for.
​
But here’s the kicker—Life, in its inherent stubbornness, didn’t want to admit it needed Death. Much like a teenager pretending they didn’t need their parents’ advice, Life kept trying to outsmart Death, believing that if it just kept growing, expanding, and multiplying enough, it could escape the inevitable. It would create infinite stories, endless experiences, a world of unlimited growth. But no matter how many new stories Life spun, there was always that cosmic voice in the back of its head, saying: “Don’t get too comfortable. Death is just around the corner, ready to sweep you off your feet.”
​
And so, they danced together—Life and Death, in a waltz as old as time itself—always intertwined, always needing the other to play its role. They were both the problem and the solution, the challenge and the remedy. Life was chaotic, messy, and ever-expanding; Death was inevitable, quiet, and quietly elegant in its simplicity. And together, they made sure that the universe kept spinning—like a cosmic carousel of joy and sorrow, love and loss, beginnings and endings.
​
So, in the grand scheme of things, we find ourselves once again face-to-face with the truth. Life and Death aren’t opposites. They are partners in crime, each pushing the other to make the most of what we have. Death gives life meaning by drawing a boundary around it, just as life, in turn, fills Death with purpose.
​
After all, if it weren’t for Death, Life would just be a never-ending cycle of attempts to find the perfect avocado. And let’s face it—that’s not a life anyone wants to live.