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Welcome to the Official Chris Conidis Website.
Explore Chris Conidis’s latest short stories and screenplays.
Chris Conidis is a versatile artist, writer, author and performer celebrated for his inventive blend of improv comedy, horror, fantasy, parody, and satire. A proud UCB and City alumnus, he brings a sharp, distinctive voice to everything he creates, captivating audiences with his clever wit and imaginative storytelling.
Chris Conidis – Writer, Filmmaker, Improv Performer Official Website
Chris Conidis is a versatile writer, filmmaker, and improv performer with a career spanning over two decades. His work includes satire, social commentary, and dark humor, often exploring themes like societal critique, futurism, and absurdity.
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CHRIS CONIDIS
Storyteller, Creator, and Performer in St. Cloud, Florida
This July, I’m back coaching improv classes in Toronto. If you’ve already taken classes with me or RJ feel free to reach out and reconnect. New? Shoot me a DM—I’ll send you the sign-up info- thanks!
Check Out Medium Content here:
Your Foot Print Has Been Logged
Storytelling isn't fluff—it's fuel.
In CEOWORLD Magazine, Chris Conidis explores how great leaders use storytelling to inspire action, shape brand identity, and build lasting trust.
Your data needs a voice. That voice is your story.
Read now on CEOWORLD.biz:
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https://ceoworld.biz/2024/11/28/chris-conidis-how-does-storytelling-shape-success/#google_vignette
Chris Conidis: How Does Storytelling Shape Success?
#Leadership #ChrisConidis #Storytelling #BusinessStrategy #CEOWORLD #NarrativePower
The Mirror at the End of the Lane by Chris Conidis is a haunting tale that delves deep into the truths we often avoid. In the eerie town of Willowend, a mysterious mirror reflects not just faces but the unspoken secrets and moral cracks that define its inhabitants. Edgar Plumb, a young boy seeking a momentary escape, discovers just how far the mirror’s gaze reaches — and the unsettling truth about his own future.
This story explores the consequences of pretense and the uncomfortable reality that we all try to avoid. A perfect reminder of the importance of confronting our truths before they confront us.
Read the full story here: The Mirror at the End of the Lane
https://medium.com/@chris-conidis/chris-conidis-the-mirror-at-the-end-of-the-lane-c68a5ad96dd8
Genre: Horror / Dark Fantasy
A cycle of dark tales connected by objects, omens, and the strange forces that carry them across generations. Each story stands alone yet echoes another—woven by unseen hands and bound by fear, fate, and forgotten pacts. Gothic-modern in aesthetic, rich in mood and myth.
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Hitchcock: Master of suspense, but also the guy who made you question whether or not your mother actually loves you
Dark Comedy DNA: Why Satirists Owe a Drink to Hitchcock, Serling, and Chaplin.
I’ve been rewatching Hitchcock, not for suspense—but for stillness. For his intros as satire - there’s something about a man in a tight frame, doing absolutely nothing, that feels louder than screams. I’m chasing that tension in silence for my own projects lately. Still frames, breath between lines, paranoia with no soundtrack.
Read the articles
here and on Medium
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Chris Conidis Unveils “Progress City”: A Satirical Take on Futurism and Modern Life
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“Progress City,” a sharp satire that takes a deep, comical dive into society’s love affair with “progress.” This new project, a sprawling parody of futurism and modern life, unpacks humanity’s journey from the cave to today’s social dilemmas. With his trademark humor, Conidis pokes fun at how every era has imagined the future—often with more confidence than accuracy—and how these visions have both shaped and clashed with reality.
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In “Progress City,” Conidis explores humanity’s attempts at advancing, for better or worse, across a variety of eras, from our early ancestors’ first discovery of fire to the contemporary pursuit of “likes” and “followers.” He calls it “a humorous archaeological dig through the fossil record of our ambitions,” and each chapter pulls no punches. Rather than romanticizing humanity’s progress, Conidis tackles the myths and follies of each era with a critical, entertaining eye.
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“The funny thing about the future,” Conidis says, “is that every generation thinks they’re the first to figure it out. We’re not all that different from cavemen—we just swapped campfire storytelling for scrolling and status updates.” His approach is part critique, part stand-up comedy routine, and all satire, painting a portrait of human nature as it has evolved—technologically, if not always intellectually.
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In the spirit of Conidis’s previous works, “Progress City” doesn’t merely poke fun at the past and present; it asks readers to reflect on the direction we’re heading. “We’re in an age where tech rules our lives, but we still don’t know what to do with our hands when we take a photo,” he jokes. “Progress has made us smarter on paper, but when it comes to common sense, well… let’s just say it might still be in beta testing.” These observations reveal the hilarious contradictions between our advanced tools and the often unchanged human instincts that wield them.
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One central theme of “Progress City” is how humanity’s constant push for the “next big thing” sometimes results in absurdity. “Every few centuries, someone invents something that they swear will change the world—stone tools, steam engines, social media algorithms—and yet here we are, still figuring out how to get along.” Conidis believes that the project will resonate with audiences who can relate to the idea of progress that somehow always leaves us wanting more.
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He takes aim at today’s obsession with technology as well, particularly the ways we measure success and fulfillment in digital terms. “In caveman days, your status symbol was the biggest piece of mammoth meat. Today, it’s your follower count. Either way, it’s about who’s got the biggest… following,” he quips. “Progress City” explores how these primitive instincts have evolved—or haven’t—despite our sophisticated new toys.
Conidis’s audience will find that “Progress City” is as much a mirror as it is a comedy. By setting today’s achievements alongside the feats of ancient societies, he paints a comedic picture of the ways we repeat old patterns even as we think we’re blazing new trails. “If we’re so futuristic, why do we still find ourselves in traffic jams?” he jokes. “If the cavemen could see us now, they’d probably just laugh.”
Chris Conidis continues to delight audiences by dissecting society’s quirks with a refreshing sense of humor, proving that comedy can be a powerful tool for reflection. “Progress City” promises to be an enlightening, entertaining journey through the timeline of human aspirations, inviting readers to laugh at how much we’ve changed—and how much we haven’t.
WELCOME TO PROGRESS CITY! Welcome to the future! Now, please scan your LifePassâ„¢ to enter.   Â
The original progress city -" Garden Cities of To-morrow"
Welcome, Esteemed Future Progress Citizen, to the ultimate pinnacle of human achievement! Yes, from huddling in prehistoric caves, scared of thunderstorms and drawing stick-figures on the walls, all the way to now—oh, the journey we’ve made! If your ancestors could see you today, they’d have tears in their eyes, or at least a confused stare at your smartphone. Behold, Progress City: the final frontier of true evolution—now with more Wi-Fi and less patience than ever before.
In Progress City, we celebrate every phase of human advancement with architectural wonders and visionary planning that will leave you awestruck—at how little your rent covers. Imagine living in a metropolis so advanced, even our grocery stores are mini-museums of humanity’s favorite pursuit: consumerism. If early humans moved from fire to agriculture, and from the steam engine to space exploration, consider Progress City the ultimate destination in the human saga, where we’ve advanced far enough to pay for oxygen as a “premium lifestyle choice.”
Why Settle Here? Because You Deserve a Slice of the Future—No, Really, It’s On Us (For a Fee)
Here in Progress City, you don’t just live; you thrive. Or at least that’s what our marketing team says. You’ll find towering skyscrapers that gleam with reflective glass—doubling as urban greenhouses when they concentrate sunlight into beams hot enough to cook a pizza right on the sidewalk. We’re redefining "modern architecture" with buildings that serve one of three critical purposes: offices, luxury apartments, and mega-malls. If you can’t tell the difference between them, that’s by design. It’s minimalist! It’s cutting-edge! It’s, well… efficient.
From Caveman to Corporateman™: Progress City’s Exclusive Path to Success
Imagine it: your ancestors banged rocks together to make sparks, and now you can pay for the privilege of “instant connectivity” so you can respond to a Slack message at 2 a.m. That, my friend, is progress. In Progress City, you’re not just part of society; you’re a cog in the innovation machine—working tirelessly to fund the next big breakthrough. The Romans gave us aqueducts; we give you rooftop infinity pools, complete with hourly networking sessions. And don’t worry about “work-life balance”; in Progress City, every moment is optimized for productivity. You’re never too far from an office because you live in one. And who needs leisure when you’ve got quarterly goals?
A Lifestyle for the Brave—And the Bank Account-Rich
Progress City offers a unique lifestyle for the truly evolved: the best in high-rise, high-stakes, high-interest urban living! Gone are the days of “space” or “nature”; here, we have converted even the smallest patch of green into a perfectly manicured, Instagrammable background. Each condo is strategically designed for maximum productivity and minimum relaxation, featuring floor-to-ceiling windows, so you can see the city and your future slipping away in perfect symmetry.
Our “community” amenities are unmatched. Need a quick getaway? Try the elevator—now enhanced with a “Silent Social™” feature that allows you to avoid eye contact and exchange life stories with complete strangers! Craving a little “me time”? Our gyms are open 24/7, conveniently packed to capacity during all hours so you can practice those crowd-dodging skills—an essential talent in the Progress City workforce!
Welcome to a World Where Progress is a Brand™ and Efficiency is King
Here in Progress City, we’ve mastered the delicate art of making you feel like you’re moving up while standing still. Just think of our transit system, meticulously engineered to give you the authentic experience of being “almost there” for hours at a time. Or our advanced digital infrastructure, where every scroll and swipe brings you closer to understanding why everyone else seems to be having a better life than you.
And let’s not forget our leadership! In Progress City, we don’t have your average mayors and council members; we have Visionary CEOs of Urban Growth™ and Chief Efficiency Strategists™ who have mastered the fine art of using empty buzzwords to justify a six-figure salary. They promise “innovation,” which really means rerouting your favorite park into an extra parking lot, because who needs trees in a world as evolved as this?
Reserve Your Spot in Progress City: The Future, Wrapped in Glass and Sold as Luxury
So, what do you say? Are you ready to move from the prehistoric wilderness of nature to a metropolis that mirrors every achievement of humankind? Where we replace genuine human connection with Bluetooth? In Progress City, the dream is alive—on life support, maybe, but technically alive.
Join us in the city of tomorrow, where every morning you can look out from your 47th-floor balcony and marvel at the beautiful glow of digital billboards, casting an ever-so-slight shade of existential dread across the skyline. This is Progress City, where we’ve taken the past, turned it into a purchasable experience, and made your future a monthly subscription.
Welcome home. Or as we like to say, “Welcome to the upgrade.”
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Ah, Progress City™: the dazzling pinnacle of technological advancement, where creativity is no longer constrained by pesky human limitations like "inspiration" or "original thought." Why leave art in the hands of fragile, ego-driven humans, after all, when you could let Artificial Intelligence—a collection of algorithms that never sleeps, feels self-doubt, or demands a latte break—take over? Here, every pixel, every line, every gleaming piece of modern art is crafted with the cold, unbiased precision of our AI design overlords, ushering in a brave new era of art and culture.
1. Progress is Now Pay-Per-View
Remember when progress meant building a society that benefited everyone? That’s cute. Here in Progress City™, progress has a price tag, and you better believe it’s pay-per-view. Want to enjoy that shiny new public park? Better sign up for the Gold Elite Access Pass™. Want breathable air? Well, there’s an app for that—but be warned, the ad-supported version only lets you breathe every 20 minutes. For uninterrupted oxygen, you’ll need to upgrade to the Premium “Fresh Air Forever” Subscription Plan™ (terms and conditions apply).


2. The Future is Sponsored by MegaCorp™
Who needs ideals when you have MegaCorp™ to pave the way? In Progress City™, every public space is proudly sponsored by corporations who only have your best interests in mind. Feel like getting some fresh air? Welcome to BreatheCo™ Park, brought to you by the fine folks at PharmaKleen™, who definitely aren’t trying to sell you their latest antidepressants. Need to go to the bathroom? Don’t forget to check out the FlushCo™ Restroom Experience—$5 entry, plus a convenience fee. We’ve even branded the sunsets, thanks to SkyGlow™ by SunBank™, because who needs nature when you’ve got corporate sponsorships?
3. Monetizing Basic Human Functions
In Progress City™, we’ve innovated the ultimate business model: monetizing things you thought were free. Eating? That’s so 20th century. Here, food comes with a side of cryptocurrency. Want a hot meal? Download the FoodCoin™ app, convert your earnings into ByteBucks™, and redeem them at one of our delightful HungerHub™ kiosks. Water? That’s available in HydrateX™ Bottles, sponsored by Aquacorp™, of course. And sleep? Oh, we’ve got that covered with SlumberPro™, a subscription service that offers “Premium REM cycles”—because in Progress City™, even your dreams come with a price tag.
4. Your Personal Data: The New Gold
Let’s talk about what’s really driving progress: you! More specifically, the endless stream of personal data you generate every second of your life. Every click, every search, every mildly anxious thought you have is tracked, analyzed, and sold to the highest bidder. In Progress City™, privacy is a relic of the past—who needs it when your preferences can be finely tuned and targeted with ads for things you didn’t know you needed (because, let’s be honest, you don’t)? You thought you were just searching for cat memes, but congratulations! You’ve just signed up for a 3-month trial of CatNet™, where for only $9.99 a month, you can watch an endless stream of feline content, 24/7!
5. Monetizing Morality
Feeling a little guilty about your carbon footprint? Don’t worry, Progress City™ has a solution for that, too—introducing ConscienceClean™! For a small monthly fee, you can offset your guilt by purchasing carbon credits, sponsored by none other than GreenifyCo™. Now you can drive your gas-guzzling SUV guilt-free, because Progress City™ cares about your peace of mind, as long as it’s profitable. And if you really want to feel good about yourself, try the EcoHero™ Subscription Plan, which offers weekly notifications about how much better you are than people who don’t subscribe.
6. Progress Points™: Because Life is a Game
Who says life has to be hard? In Progress City™, we’ve gamified every aspect of existence with our patented Progress Points™ system. Every purchase, every interaction, and even every breath you take can earn you valuable Progress Points™, which you can redeem for all sorts of fun rewards! Need to pay rent? Use Progress Points™ to get a discount. Want to sit down on a public bench? Sorry, that costs 50 Progress Points™. It’s the ultimate system of reward and punishment, where you can literally earn your right to exist.
7. Healthcare (For the Right Price)
Ah, healthcare. In Progress City™, we believe in a system where your level of care is directly proportional to your net worth. The MegaMedi™ system offers three tiers: Bronze (aka “Good Luck”), Silver (aka “Maybe This Will Work”), and Gold (aka “Guaranteed Treatment”). Of course, if you can’t afford healthcare, don’t worry—you can always watch a HealthCo™ tutorial on YouTube about how to perform your own surgery at home with our new DIY LifeKit™! It comes complete with gauze, a scalpel, and a prayer.
8. Happiness On Layaway
In Progress City™, we don’t just sell products, we sell happiness—on layaway, of course. Want to feel joy? That’s going to cost you, but don’t worry, we’ve made it easy with our HappyNow™ payment plan! For just 12 easy payments of $29.99, you can lease your very own fleeting sense of contentment. Sure, it’ll wear off in a week, but then you can always upgrade to HappyNow™ Plus, which includes a monthly dopamine booster delivered right to your door.
9. The Cult of “Success”
In Progress City™, we worship at the altar of Success™, where everyone is encouraged to hustle, grind, and never stop moving. If you’re not constantly doing something, are you even alive? We’ve streamlined success into a 12-step program that begins with purchasing the MegaCorp™ Success Journal™ and ends with you living in a minimalist glass apartment overlooking the city, surrounded by screens that tell you how well you’re doing (because the real measure of success is how much attention you can command).
10. The Eternal Subscription Model of Life
In Progress City™, nothing is truly yours. Not your house, not your car, not even your identity. Everything operates on the subscription model—your life is just one long series of monthly payments. Want to stay in your own apartment? Better not forget to pay your LifeLease™ fee. Want access to basic human rights? Those come in a bundle with Freedom™ Pro, available for a limited-time offer! The best part? You can’t cancel. Ever.
Conclusion: Welcome to the Future!
So, there you have it: the glorious future of Progress City™, where every second of your existence is monetized, your data is sold, and every inch of your life is branded. Who needs freedom when you’ve got Premium Comfort™? Who needs happiness when you can buy temporary distractions? Progress, after all, isn’t about building a better world—it’s about building a profitable one.
Welcome to the future! Now, please scan your LifePass™ to exit.