Chris Conidis Artist, Author, Screenwriter
Chris Conidis is a versatile writer, filmmaker, and improv performer with a career spanning over two decades. His work includes satire, social commentary, and dark humor, often exploring themes like societal critique, futurism, and absurdity.
Writer and former artist, Chris Conidis is back at it, in the latest work-in-progress, “Progress City,” a sharp satire that takes a deep, comical dive into society’s love affair with “progress.” This new project, a sprawling parody of futurism and modern life, unpacks humanity’s journey from the cave to today’s social dilemmas. With his trademark humor, Conidis pokes fun at how every era has imagined the future—often with more confidence than accuracy—and how these visions have both shaped and clashed with reality.
Introducing Progress City – A Satirical Journey Through Our Obsession with "Advancement"
This sprawling parody of futurism and modern life peels back the layers of our societal quirks, from our earliest beginnings to the complex dilemmas of today.
*Progress City* invites us to reflect on what it really means to move forward—and at what cost.
Check out the official press release for more insights into the inspiration behind this project: [Read here)
Let me know what you think about this satirical dive into the future and our present!
https://www.crunchbase.com/person/chris-conidis-adaa
#ProgressCity #Satire #Futurism #SocialCommentary #ChrisConidis
Chris Conidis: The Time-Traveling Master of Mediocrity
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Chris Conidis sprinkles in some historical trivia, and tears apart pop culture like a kid with a piñata. Ever wonder what it takes to be an expert in absolutely nothing? Look no further. Known for his ability to leave no trace in the annals of history, He is a distinguished master of “meh.” While some aim for fame, he is content on being the unsung hero of mediocre pursuits, championing the art of sarcastic observation and the pursuit of temperate achievements.He’s not here to change the world…He is just here to rearrange the deck chairs while the ship goes down...
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Born in the depths of prehistoric humanity—probably while someone was inventing the wheel—Conidis started his career as a caveman, slowly chiseling away at rocks and cracking his first sarcastic comment. Back then, there were no influencers, just basic survival and the occasional woolly mammoth scare. Conidis was ahead of his time, the original social media pioneer—drawing stick figures on cave walls to the disinterest of any Neanderthal within a 10-mile radius. No followers, no problem.
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As time ticked on and human history fumbled its way forward, Conidis stayed in the mix, dodging plagues, bad haircuts, and even worse fashion trends (seriously, tunics?) with the same finesse he now uses to avoid online trolls. While everyone else was busy building empires, he was busy telling Socrates, “Hey, man, why not take a break and just chill? You’re overthinking this whole philosophy thing.” Of course, his toga party ideas didn't exactly take off, and his critique of democracy was something like: “Yeah, democracy... or should I say, Demo-Crazy?”
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Conidis gave the Egyptians a hand in designing the pyramids, suggesting, “Have you thought about making them triangle-shaped? I mean, it’s just an idea.” Fast forward to the Dark Ages—Conidis was there too, trying to make fire jokes, but the crowd just wasn’t ready. #TooSoon.
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Then came the Renaissance—oh, what a time to be alive! Conidis was rubbing elbows with Da Vinci, telling him, “Ever thought about, like, flying or something?” and witnessing revolutions unfold, many of which he considered “way too dramatic.” He dodged cannonballs in the French Revolution like it was no big deal and spent a good amount of time roasting Napoleon’s height—"You're really that short in person?" Classic Conidis.
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And then, just when you thought the madness couldn’t get any worse... enter the modern era. Selfies, hashtags, and TikTok dances. Conidis, still sporting a confused look from the previous century, couldn’t believe it. “Wait, so we went from inventing fire to lip-syncing to pop songs on a tiny screen? How did I miss that memo?” he wondered aloud.
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Today, he spends his days in utter bewilderment, watching humanity become obsessed with filters, likes, and viral nonsense. "Cave paintings at least had some culture," he quips. A seasoned time traveler, Conidis is still trying to figure out how the human race went from inventing the wheel to... unboxing videos. Through it all, Conidis remains a witness to the spectacle—armed with sarcasm sharper than a medieval sword and a humor that has survived and roasted the ages.
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https://www.crunchbase.com/person/chris-conidis-adaa
https://www.chrisconidisflorida.com/
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WELCOME TO PROGRESS CITY! Welcome to the future! Now, please scan your LifePassâ„¢ to enter.   Â
Welcome, Esteemed Future Progress Citizen, to the ultimate pinnacle of human achievement! Yes, from huddling in prehistoric caves, scared of thunderstorms and drawing stick-figures on the walls, all the way to now—oh, the journey we’ve made! If your ancestors could see you today, they’d have tears in their eyes, or at least a confused stare at your smartphone. Behold, Progress City: the final frontier of true evolution—now with more Wi-Fi and less patience than ever before.
In Progress City, we celebrate every phase of human advancement with architectural wonders and visionary planning that will leave you awestruck—at how little your rent covers. Imagine living in a metropolis so advanced, even our grocery stores are mini-museums of humanity’s favorite pursuit: consumerism. If early humans moved from fire to agriculture, and from the steam engine to space exploration, consider Progress City the ultimate destination in the human saga, where we’ve advanced far enough to pay for oxygen as a “premium lifestyle choice.”
Why Settle Here? Because You Deserve a Slice of the Future—No, Really, It’s On Us (For a Fee)
Here in Progress City, you don’t just live; you thrive. Or at least that’s what our marketing team says. You’ll find towering skyscrapers that gleam with reflective glass—doubling as urban greenhouses when they concentrate sunlight into beams hot enough to cook a pizza right on the sidewalk. We’re redefining "modern architecture" with buildings that serve one of three critical purposes: offices, luxury apartments, and mega-malls. If you can’t tell the difference between them, that’s by design. It’s minimalist! It’s cutting-edge! It’s, well… efficient.
From Caveman to Corporateman™: Progress City’s Exclusive Path to Success
Imagine it: your ancestors banged rocks together to make sparks, and now you can pay for the privilege of “instant connectivity” so you can respond to a Slack message at 2 a.m. That, my friend, is progress. In Progress City, you’re not just part of society; you’re a cog in the innovation machine—working tirelessly to fund the next big breakthrough. The Romans gave us aqueducts; we give you rooftop infinity pools, complete with hourly networking sessions. And don’t worry about “work-life balance”; in Progress City, every moment is optimized for productivity. You’re never too far from an office because you live in one. And who needs leisure when you’ve got quarterly goals?
A Lifestyle for the Brave—And the Bank Account-Rich
Progress City offers a unique lifestyle for the truly evolved: the best in high-rise, high-stakes, high-interest urban living! Gone are the days of “space” or “nature”; here, we have converted even the smallest patch of green into a perfectly manicured, Instagrammable background. Each condo is strategically designed for maximum productivity and minimum relaxation, featuring floor-to-ceiling windows, so you can see the city and your future slipping away in perfect symmetry.
Our “community” amenities are unmatched. Need a quick getaway? Try the elevator—now enhanced with a “Silent Social™” feature that allows you to avoid eye contact and exchange life stories with complete strangers! Craving a little “me time”? Our gyms are open 24/7, conveniently packed to capacity during all hours so you can practice those crowd-dodging skills—an essential talent in the Progress City workforce!
Welcome to a World Where Progress is a Brand™ and Efficiency is King
Here in Progress City, we’ve mastered the delicate art of making you feel like you’re moving up while standing still. Just think of our transit system, meticulously engineered to give you the authentic experience of being “almost there” for hours at a time. Or our advanced digital infrastructure, where every scroll and swipe brings you closer to understanding why everyone else seems to be having a better life than you.
And let’s not forget our leadership! In Progress City, we don’t have your average mayors and council members; we have Visionary CEOs of Urban Growth™ and Chief Efficiency Strategists™ who have mastered the fine art of using empty buzzwords to justify a six-figure salary. They promise “innovation,” which really means rerouting your favorite park into an extra parking lot, because who needs trees in a world as evolved as this?
Reserve Your Spot in Progress City: The Future, Wrapped in Glass and Sold as Luxury
So, what do you say? Are you ready to move from the prehistoric wilderness of nature to a metropolis that mirrors every achievement of humankind? Where we replace genuine human connection with Bluetooth? In Progress City, the dream is alive—on life support, maybe, but technically alive.
Join us in the city of tomorrow, where every morning you can look out from your 47th-floor balcony and marvel at the beautiful glow of digital billboards, casting an ever-so-slight shade of existential dread across the skyline. This is Progress City, where we’ve taken the past, turned it into a purchasable experience, and made your future a monthly subscription.
Welcome home. Or as we like to say, “Welcome to the upgrade.”
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Ah, Progress City™: the dazzling pinnacle of technological advancement, where creativity is no longer constrained by pesky human limitations like "inspiration" or "original thought." Why leave art in the hands of fragile, ego-driven humans, after all, when you could let Artificial Intelligence—a collection of algorithms that never sleeps, feels self-doubt, or demands a latte break—take over? Here, every pixel, every line, every gleaming piece of modern art is crafted with the cold, unbiased precision of our AI design overlords, ushering in a brave new era of art and culture.
1. Progress is Now Pay-Per-View
Remember when progress meant building a society that benefited everyone? That’s cute. Here in Progress City™, progress has a price tag, and you better believe it’s pay-per-view. Want to enjoy that shiny new public park? Better sign up for the Gold Elite Access Pass™. Want breathable air? Well, there’s an app for that—but be warned, the ad-supported version only lets you breathe every 20 minutes. For uninterrupted oxygen, you’ll need to upgrade to the Premium “Fresh Air Forever” Subscription Plan™ (terms and conditions apply).


2. The Future is Sponsored by MegaCorp™
Who needs ideals when you have MegaCorp™ to pave the way? In Progress City™, every public space is proudly sponsored by corporations who only have your best interests in mind. Feel like getting some fresh air? Welcome to BreatheCo™ Park, brought to you by the fine folks at PharmaKleen™, who definitely aren’t trying to sell you their latest antidepressants. Need to go to the bathroom? Don’t forget to check out the FlushCo™ Restroom Experience—$5 entry, plus a convenience fee. We’ve even branded the sunsets, thanks to SkyGlow™ by SunBank™, because who needs nature when you’ve got corporate sponsorships?
3. Monetizing Basic Human Functions
In Progress City™, we’ve innovated the ultimate business model: monetizing things you thought were free. Eating? That’s so 20th century. Here, food comes with a side of cryptocurrency. Want a hot meal? Download the FoodCoin™ app, convert your earnings into ByteBucks™, and redeem them at one of our delightful HungerHub™ kiosks. Water? That’s available in HydrateX™ Bottles, sponsored by Aquacorp™, of course. And sleep? Oh, we’ve got that covered with SlumberPro™, a subscription service that offers “Premium REM cycles”—because in Progress City™, even your dreams come with a price tag.
4. Your Personal Data: The New Gold
Let’s talk about what’s really driving progress: you! More specifically, the endless stream of personal data you generate every second of your life. Every click, every search, every mildly anxious thought you have is tracked, analyzed, and sold to the highest bidder. In Progress City™, privacy is a relic of the past—who needs it when your preferences can be finely tuned and targeted with ads for things you didn’t know you needed (because, let’s be honest, you don’t)? You thought you were just searching for cat memes, but congratulations! You’ve just signed up for a 3-month trial of CatNet™, where for only $9.99 a month, you can watch an endless stream of feline content, 24/7!
5. Monetizing Morality
Feeling a little guilty about your carbon footprint? Don’t worry, Progress City™ has a solution for that, too—introducing ConscienceClean™! For a small monthly fee, you can offset your guilt by purchasing carbon credits, sponsored by none other than GreenifyCo™. Now you can drive your gas-guzzling SUV guilt-free, because Progress City™ cares about your peace of mind, as long as it’s profitable. And if you really want to feel good about yourself, try the EcoHero™ Subscription Plan, which offers weekly notifications about how much better you are than people who don’t subscribe.
6. Progress Points™: Because Life is a Game
Who says life has to be hard? In Progress City™, we’ve gamified every aspect of existence with our patented Progress Points™ system. Every purchase, every interaction, and even every breath you take can earn you valuable Progress Points™, which you can redeem for all sorts of fun rewards! Need to pay rent? Use Progress Points™ to get a discount. Want to sit down on a public bench? Sorry, that costs 50 Progress Points™. It’s the ultimate system of reward and punishment, where you can literally earn your right to exist.
7. Healthcare (For the Right Price)
Ah, healthcare. In Progress City™, we believe in a system where your level of care is directly proportional to your net worth. The MegaMedi™ system offers three tiers: Bronze (aka “Good Luck”), Silver (aka “Maybe This Will Work”), and Gold (aka “Guaranteed Treatment”). Of course, if you can’t afford healthcare, don’t worry—you can always watch a HealthCo™ tutorial on YouTube about how to perform your own surgery at home with our new DIY LifeKit™! It comes complete with gauze, a scalpel, and a prayer.
8. Happiness On Layaway
In Progress City™, we don’t just sell products, we sell happiness—on layaway, of course. Want to feel joy? That’s going to cost you, but don’t worry, we’ve made it easy with our HappyNow™ payment plan! For just 12 easy payments of $29.99, you can lease your very own fleeting sense of contentment. Sure, it’ll wear off in a week, but then you can always upgrade to HappyNow™ Plus, which includes a monthly dopamine booster delivered right to your door.
9. The Cult of “Success”
In Progress City™, we worship at the altar of Success™, where everyone is encouraged to hustle, grind, and never stop moving. If you’re not constantly doing something, are you even alive? We’ve streamlined success into a 12-step program that begins with purchasing the MegaCorp™ Success Journal™ and ends with you living in a minimalist glass apartment overlooking the city, surrounded by screens that tell you how well you’re doing (because the real measure of success is how much attention you can command).
10. The Eternal Subscription Model of Life
In Progress City™, nothing is truly yours. Not your house, not your car, not even your identity. Everything operates on the subscription model—your life is just one long series of monthly payments. Want to stay in your own apartment? Better not forget to pay your LifeLease™ fee. Want access to basic human rights? Those come in a bundle with Freedom™ Pro, available for a limited-time offer! The best part? You can’t cancel. Ever.
Conclusion: Welcome to the Future!
So, there you have it: the glorious future of Progress City™, where every second of your existence is monetized, your data is sold, and every inch of your life is branded. Who needs freedom when you’ve got Premium Comfort™? Who needs happiness when you can buy temporary distractions? Progress, after all, isn’t about building a better world—it’s about building a profitable one.
Welcome to the future! Now, please scan your LifePass™ to exit.